“Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Children are born with different temperaments and personalities. Some of them are brave & confident; others are timid, shy and fearful. Those children who are optimistic believe that they can do anything they put their minds into. If anything goes wrong, they are less likely to give up the first time, they see possibilities and opportunities that other children might miss, get excited about overcoming challenges rather than being discouraged by them, inspire the people around them, bounce back more quickly after failure or rejection and are not afraid to try new things. Whereas, children who are pessimists; always see the gloomy side of the situation, they are afraid of trying new things and even discourage others for doing any kind of activities.
PARENTAL ROLE
It is very important for the parents to help their children learn to have a more realistic and balanced point of view about the positive and negative aspects of a situation. You can help a pessimistic child become an optimistic thinker by inculcating confidence in her and motivating her to think positive. Also, as a parent, you should first examine your own attitude because you have the biggest influence on how your child perceives the world. So, always focus on the positive instead of the negative and discuss only good events of your day with your child.
So, you can shape your child’s perspective and mindset and help her grow into an optimist by following the tips given below:
What can be done?
Maintain a positive atmosphere at home
Maintain a loving and understanding atmosphere at home wherein every family member shows a positive attitude towards life. Make your home full of laughter & happiness and be very careful with your approach and behaviour towards others in the family.
Observe your child
Observe your child’s behaviour during different situations and try to understand where this negativity is coming from. Notice how your child thinks about different things and take a note of how she behaves while playing with friends; in public places; while shopping; at social gatherings etc. Learn how she behaves during such situations and closely monitor which situations make her think negative.
Monitor your child’s company
It is rightly said thatthe people around you have a big impact on you. They impact on who you are, how you think & behave with others. If you surround your child with people who have negative thoughts, your child will also become pessimist. So, surround your child with positive people and her thoughts will also become positive.
Talk to your child
Spend time with your child and speak with her to get a clear picture of what she feels and thinks about different people and situations. Each night before bed, at dinner table or while taking a walk after dinner, ask your child about her achievements of the day. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments at school, something she is proud of, a situation where she helped someone etc..
Express feelings when they come up
Ask your child to always express her positive feelings & negative feelings to you. Also, show her how to talk about negative feelings such as anger, fear and sadness. Give her words to describe these feelings and then patiently listen to her when she talks to you. After you get aware of what makes your child think negative, provide her with the possible solutions or ways to solve the problem.
Look for good in everything
Explain to your child that things will not always go as planned, however she should always look for good in it. Tell her that everything has a positive message or lesson hidden inside somewhere. For example, just because it is raining does not mean the day is ruined. She can organize a picnic indoors instead.
Never say ‘no’ to any task
Encourage your child to say ‘I can do it’ rather than ‘I can’t do it’. Teach your child to always approach things with a positive mind and attitude. Show her lots of love & affection and share your joy & thankfulness with her so that she learns to share the same with others and overcomes her challenging temperament.
Be thankful
Develop a simple ritual to help your child identify five things she is thankful for each day. You can create a gratitude journal together or you can encourage her to write these blessings in her diary. Later, when she is feeling stressed, encourage her to recall the positive moments, recognize them and cherish them.
Wake up early
It is rightly said that a healthy body leads to a healthy and positive mind. So, one of the best ways to help your child maintain a positive attitude is to create the habit of waking up early as she can prepare for work and start her day without feeling rushed. Also, ask her to make exercise as a part of her daily routine so that she feels refreshed throughout the day.
Read positive and inspiring books
Together with your child, read positive and inspiring books to maintain a positive attitude. These books will encourage, inspire and teach your child to remain positive in life. Also, ask your child to read inspirational quotes daily and place the posters with positive quotes near your child’s study area or near her computer, fridge door as reminders to stay optimistic.
Teach her the Positive Formula, E + P = O
This formula reveals that we cannot control the (E) Events in our life but with (P) Positive Response to these events, we can get a better (O) outcome. So, implement this formula to help your child believe that she can turn her challenges into opportunities and transform bad events into good outcomes. This will help her stay optimistic and believe that her best days are ahead of her, not behind her. For instance, if your child gets less marks in first term exam (E), she should not bring negative thoughts in her mind, instead she should feel that she can practice more and bring good marks in the next term (P). With this positive thought in her mind, she will definitely score good results in the next term (O).
Reward good behaviour
Praise your child and pay attention to her positive thinking. Reinforce your child’s positive behaviour by smiling, praising her and letting her know how much you appreciate her positive attitude. Further, while praising her, help your child think about her own accomplishments. For instance, say “you must be proud of yourself” rather than simply “I’m proud of you”.
In the end
Remember, that your child’s mind is like a garden. Each day you want her to weed her negative thoughts and plant the seeds of positive thoughts. One day of weeding and planting will not do much. However, if you practice these strategies each day, over a week, a month, a year later, your child will become optimistic. So, nurture your child, be consistent in your approach and concentrate on eliminating your child’s negative thoughts.
Happy positive thinking!
