Identify impulsive behaviour in your child
–Tips for Parents by Mrs. Meenal Arora
Impulsive behaviour is a series of actions that are taken without any forethought. Impulsive behaviour is quite common in growing children, as it is one of the most common ways through which they express their emotions. Most toddlers and preschoolers show varied signs of impulsive behaviour, as at this tender age, their brain starts developing and responding to the world they interact with. Impulsive behaviour in small children is related to their lack of control over emotions due to which, they show spontaneous reactions such as impatience to wait for their turn, rushing into activities, getting angry easily etc. Such behaviour normally occurs during situations wherein children are hungry, bored, feel lonely & ignored or when they do not get the attention they seek.
However, such behaviour should not be allowed to become a part of their personality because impulsive actions, if not controlled at an early age, can have adverse effects on their own lives as well as affect their relationships with their loved ones. Moreover, children who do not have control over their impulsive reactions may find it difficult to adjust to the social set-up in which they live, grow and become a part of. Such children are often cornered and disliked by other children of their age and even by adults because through impulsive reactions, children cause harm not only to themselves but also to the people around them, physically and psychologically.
Since it is the parents who play a crucial role in shaping the personality of the children, as the little ones learn their first lessons of life from their parents, it is their responsibility to first identify the signs of impulsive behaviour in their children and then take suitable steps to control it. Here are some remedial measures & techniques that you can adopt at home, through which you as a parent can control your child’s impulsive behaviour.
Maintain a calm atmosphere at home – Maintain a loving and understanding atmosphere at home wherein every family member shows respect towards each other. Be very careful with your behaviour towards others in the family in your child’s presence, as she may often pick up and imitate your actions.
Give your child the attention she deserves – Impulsive behaviour may sometimes occur because your child may not be getting the much-required parental attention. So, respond to your child promptly whenever she comes up to you to say something. Your attention, combined with love, will be helpful in keeping your child on the right track and also in reducing her tendency to show impulsive behaviour.
Talk to your child – Speak to your child to get a clear picture of what she feels whenever she shows impulsive reactions such as getting angry instantly, screaming, crying, feeling frustrated etc. In a polite way, ask her why she acts that way and let her express what all is in her mind. This way, you will be able to find out the problem areas and situations that make her show impulsive reactions.
Tell her that impulsive behaviour is not good – Make your child realise that impulsive reactions such as throwing or breaking her toys, screaming when angry, will not make her feel good later on, though it may give temporarily relief to her during the particular situation. Further, explain to her that such behaviour will create a bad impression about her, in the minds of others.
Keep a positive approach – Do not explain the bad effects of impulsive behaviour through prolonged lectures. Whenever your child shows impulsive reactions, try not to respond in anger, as keeping pace with such behaviour will become difficult for you if you also reply angrily. Instead, approach your child with a positive mind & attitude and focus on the remedial ways to control your child’s impulsive behaviour.
Observe your child on a normal day – Monitor your child’s activities, behaviour and mood swings on any day, to know how she behaves in different circumstances. For this, you need to keep a track of her activities in the daily routine, such as studying, playing with her friends, watching television, dining with the family etc. and check how she reacts to different situations.
Monitor her television viewing time – Observe your child’s television viewing time and take a note of her favourite shows on TV. Even if it is a cartoon show, make sure that your child is not exposed to impulsive acts of violence on television, as she may get influenced easily & may even imitate such undesirable actions in real life circumstances.
Make leisure time fruitful for her – Indulge your child in healthy and productive activities such as drawing, reading story books, making crafts etc. Productive activities will keep your child’s mind occupied and will also channelise her energy towards something progressive.
Assist her in finishing her tasks – At times, your child may lose temper and act impulsively due to her inability to accomplish the task in hand. To make things easier for her and to prevent impulsive actions, divide her work into smaller chunks, so that she does her work easily without losing patience.
Reward good behaviour – Acknowledge your child’s efforts to control her impulsive behaviour, through words of appreciation. Praise her whenever she waits for her turn patiently and whenever she regains her self-control. This positive reinforcement will motivate your child to repeat good behaviour.
Have justified expectations – Above all, have reasonable expectations from your child, keeping in mind her age & level of development because it is normal for small children to react on impulse, as they do not have the cognitive ability to have control over their responses.
In the end, remember thatas a parent, you should think from your child’s perspective as well. It may seem to be difficult and illogical for you to think from the point of view of your child. However, as a parent, you should realise that the reasons due to which your child shows impulsive behaviour may seem silly for you but may be serious causes of concern for her. So, help your child to think before acting on impulse, by making her feel that you are doing so not because you do not understand her feelings, but because impulsive behaviour is bad for her physical as well as psychological health. Put your sincere efforts in assisting your child to acquire self-control over her impulsive actions, in a loving & consistent manner. Also, believe in your child that as she grows up, she will develop better control over her impulsive behaviour. With your love, support and trust, your child will be able to acquire improvised inner peace of mind, which in turn will make her life happier and also make your parenting successful.
