Tips to prevent violent behaviour in your child
Right from the time children are born, parents are in their quest to find the best ways of parenting. In their efforts to nurture their children to grow as lovable adults with all the values of life, parents often find that anger management in the little ones is one of the most challenging aspects of parenting. It is true that controlling anger in children becomes difficult at times. However, parents should remember that children, who are able to manage their anger themselves right from their childhood, will grow into calm and composedadults and will also handle tough situations without losing temper. So, it is the responsibility of parents to help their children recognize the cause of anger, because it may lead to violent and aggressive behaviour in the little ones. Here are some tips that will help you to control your child’s aggressive behaviour and outbursts of anger.
Maintain a peaceful atmosphere at home – Maintain a very peaceful atmosphere at home, because chaotic home life may make your child show acts of violence. Your child should grow in a family where everyone values, respects and genuinely loves each other. So, keep a check on your levels of anger when your child is around and avoid getting into arguments & fights with other family members. Remember, such a pleasant atmosphere at home will motivate your child to control her anger and follow the same with people in the world outside.
Model how to control anger & frustration – The best way to control anger in your child is to show how to control it, yourself. For instance, whenever you get angry, get away from that person or situation, to avoid anger outburst. By doing so, you will be able to deal with the person or handle the situation in a better manner, without getting aggressive. By modeling this behaviour to your child, she will learn how to control her frustration.
Listen to your child’s problems –Loss of temper, change in behaviour patterns and showing aggression may lead to violent behaviour in your child. However, she may not be able to figure out why she is actually getting angry. So, discuss with your child about the situations that often make her angry, which in turn leads to violent behaviour. After knowing what makes your child upset, provide her with possible solutions or ways to solve the problem.
Cultivate self-control ability in her – If your child is trying something and finds it very difficult to complete, she may run out of patience and lose temper, which may ultimately lead to angry and aggressive behaviour. During such situations, you need to teach her techniques to attain self-control over anger. For instance, whenever your child is angry, ask her to count down from 10 to 1, take deep breaths, listen to music or play with her favourite toys to deviate her attention from the reason why she is angry.
Do not encourage toughness in your child – Remember that toughness is not synonymous to power. So, do not encourage your child to show toughness to others because it will make her aggressive. Moreover, your child may get violent and may even hit others, to show that she is more powerful. Therefore, instead of making your child tough, inculcate in her the acts of politeness and courtesy so that she grows up into a gentle and lovable adult.
Set the limits – If your child does not know her limits, she will get angry and aggressive easily. So, clearly specify what behaviour is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Also, explain to your child about the likely results of her undesirable actions. For instance, if your child kicks, bites, slaps and hits others to show anger, firmly tell her that such acts are not acceptable. During such situations, immediately correct your child by disciplining her. By doing so, she will be able to recall your words and will also behave well during similar situations that make her angry.
Adopt wise ways to discipline your child – Keep in mind that punishing your child physically is not the best way to discipline her because it can have a direct effect on her holistic growth. The more she is punished physically, the more violent she will become. Moreover, your child will perceive that punishing others physically is the best way to handle people, whenever she does not like their behaviour. Therefore, instead of punishing her physically, discipline your child through firm words, to restrict her from showing undesirable behaviour, such as throwing tantrums at public places and social gatherings. Also, give her logical reasons why you have restricted her from showing such behaviour.
Ignore her aggressive behaviour when needed – If you will pay undue attention to your child’s aggressive behaviour, she will think that throwing tantrums and getting violent is the easiest way to get her things done. Therefore, whenever your child loses her temper and starts throwing tantrums just to gain attention, ignore her for a while. If she sees that you are simply ignoring her tantrums, she will automatically withdraw from such behaviour. By doing so, she will learn that indulging in undesirable behaviour, such as getting violent to seek attention, is not the right way to receive love from her elders.
Monitor your child’s TV viewing time – There may be a link between your child’s aggressive behaviour and the TV shows that she usually watches. So, closely monitor your child’s television viewing time, to know whether violence is depicted in the programmes. In case if your child gets angry when you restrict her from watching such shows, politely explain to her that acts of violence depicted in such programmes cannot make one powerful in real life. Further, encourage your child to withdraw from watching such shows and also provide her with better options of entertainment available on television.
Lastly, keep in mind that it is alright for your child to get angry because it is a basic human trait. However, you should also remember that it is not good for her to show violence or get abusive, to exhibit anger. Therefore, you need to nurture your child in such a way that she does not get aggressive and also learns how to deal with difficult people and situations without losing her temper. So, help your child to manage her anger, so that she leads a healthy life and also maintains peace of mind.
