A pat on the shoulder by our father or a warm hug from our mother, we tend to cherish those times when our parents praised us because of the happy feelings we sensed. But several parents today, struggle hard to understand what really can create the maximum positive impact as praise, on their children. In addition to appreciating your kid’s achievements or talents, sometimes it is more important to acknowledge the little good things that she does or even tries.
Here are some ways to praise children more effectively:
- Acknowledge your child’s feelings rather than evaluating her performance.
“You enjoyed counting to 100, Shreyas! Good”
Effective
“You are a good counter, Shreyas”
Ineffective
- Be specific and not vague in praising her quality or achievement.
“You used so many colours in this painting, Ria”
Effective
“You did good with the painting, Ria”
Ineffective
- Compare her performance with her own previous ones and not with any other child’s.
“You made so many more sketches than last time”
Effective
“You made more sketches than Ritu”
Ineffective
- Prefer giving her a positive ‘experience’, than giving a ‘reward’. Feelings are long term whereas rewards only materialize children’s successes.
“I am so proud you won the race, Pulkit. Give me a big hug”
Effective
“You won the race, Pulkit. Let us get you a chocolate”
Ineffective
- Appreciate and focus on her efforts instead of focusing on the results. It doesn’t really matter they succeed or not as long as they put in their 100%.
“You tried to make the dish all on your own, Priya. I couldn’t do that when I was your age
Effective
“You tried and it came out nice for a beginner. Better luck next time”
Ineffective
